All writers strew less-than-perfect turns of phrase of their first drafts, pointless phrases and phrases that decelerate writing. Listed here are 5 stylistic flaws that may be eradicated in revision.
1. Pointless prepositional phrases
EXAMPLE: In any case my onerous work, the superintendent’s praise was gratifying to me.
BETTER: In any case my onerous work, the superintendent’s praise was gratifying.
The “to me” will be inferred by the reader.
2. Adverbs which might be weak substitutes for a vivid verb
EXAMPLE: The stranger walked threateningly towards us.
BETTER: The stranger stalked towards us.
I don’t share the common contempt for the -ly adverb, however I do take the time to look at -ly adverbs once I revise, changing them with an evocative verb if I can consider one. For instance:
spoke softly = whispered
crawled stealthily = crept
spoke loudly = shouted
3. Stalling phrases like tried to, appeared to, started to, began to
EXAMPLE: The solar’s reflection appeared to glisten and waver on the water.
BETTER: The solar’s reflection glistened and wavered on the water.
EXAMPLE: I took a detour down two brief flights of stone stairs and began on the lookout for the Final Likelihood Saloon.
BETTER: I took a detour down two brief flights of stone stairs and seemed for the Final Likelihood Saloon.
Normally, these expressions merely stall the narrative.
4. Meaningless simply
EXAMPLE: He simply climbed to the highest and fell asleep.
BETTER: He climbed to the highest and fell asleep.
EXAMPLE: She simply wished the carry would transfer.
BETTER: She wished the carry would transfer.
When the adverb simply conveys the which means at that second or merely, it has a operate:
I had simply opened the letter when the cellphone rang.
I’ve simply sufficient flour to make this recipe.
When simply provides neither of those meanings, go away it out.
5. It as a sentence opener
EXAMPLE: It was the remark concerning the canine that enabled the detective to unravel the case.
BETTER: The remark concerning the canine enabled the detective to unravel the case.
EXAMPLE: It was her lack of ability with small speak that held her again.
BETTER: Lack of ability with small speak held her again.
Changing the imprecise sentence opener it with a noun strengthens a sentence.
